okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
