eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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