The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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