whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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