But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize