god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
