I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip