she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
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I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml