so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me