I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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