Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.

(1-209): View more from California

the house was on fire??

(209): View more from California

shit I thought I told you.

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(256): View more from Alabama

There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen

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(317): View more from Indiana

if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught

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(510): View more from California

Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market

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(510): View more from California

I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

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(480): View more from Arizona

The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY

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