You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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