i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
