I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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