i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Mom said you looked used
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
