They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
