he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
