K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
