she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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