She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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