I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up under a house in Key West
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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