I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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