My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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