the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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