is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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