I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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