I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
