his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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