just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
