Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
