Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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