Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
