Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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