My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
