Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Green mimosas i think yes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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