Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
