Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think my moral compass just broke
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
