Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
