Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
