Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
