i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
