she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
