I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
