please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
