well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize