i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize