i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
