guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
3pm strippers are depressing
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
