you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
