need another drink. this is the easiest way
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
