I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need water and some morals
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
