You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
