I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
