I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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