Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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