i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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