i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Randomize
