why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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