My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
