do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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