addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize