He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
