How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
