Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
