I wish my penis had an off switch
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
