Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
