Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
