end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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