do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
