Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
