i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
